Stonewalling and gaslighting are two forms of negative behavior patterns that happen in unhealthy relationships.

Not surprisingly, stonewalling is damaging to relationships. What Stonewalling Does to Relationships. It can involve one person saying ‘I’m fine’ even though something is clearly wrong, or simply refusing to speak Laboratory studies show that when men stonewall women’s heart rate jumps (Levenson & Gottman, 1985). Partners who use stonewalling to divert their attention from problems end up creating more problems in the long run.
Stonewalling can leave ones partner feeling absolutely vulnerable. But, in order for a relationship to be healthy, there needs to be consistent communication and collaboration, even during disagreements. "In relationships, stonewalling is the emotional equivalent to cutting off someone’s oxygen. When women stonewall, it frustrates men. “The person who chooses to stonewall is no longer participating in self-reflection and subsequently personal growth,” Spease said.

Stonewalling happens when you try to avoid anger by ignoring conflict. Pipe, PsyD. The person retreating is generally overwhelmed and starts shutting down as a way of self-soothing and calming themselves down. In many cases, where stonewalling in relationships is a regular feature, it has been recognized as a form of psychological abuse.

Intentionally shutting down during an argument, also known as stonewalling or the silent treatment can be hurtful, frustrating, and harmful to the relationship.

‘the silent treatment’ maybe, or ‘freezing’ someone out’. Communication is hard, especially in relationships. Gaslighting is an intentional form of emotional abuse used to gain power over the other person in the relationship, by making the other person feel like they are “going crazy.”


The effects of stonewalling on any marital relationship are derogatory.

Effects of stonewalling.

Relationships are built on the ability to work together and come up with mutual solutions to problems, but stonewalling hinders a couple's ability to resolve any issues as a team.

The emotional detachment inherent to stonewalling is a form of abandonment and the … The best description I've read of stonewalling comes from, Jeffrey J. But when men stonewall, it can truly hurt women.


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