I truly believe much of life as we know it would be entirely different if this one goal was successfully embraced by many. You are the same as people who are addicted to gaming, watching TV, focussing all their interest on the next sports event, new clothes, whatever it takes so they do not have to deal with reality. Nonviolence has as one of its prerequisites the commitment to love no matter what. The more I reflect on why this is so, the more I realize how deeply the notion of deserving is rooted into our fundamental worldview. She loves him and cares for him and even before they were married she showed a affection he had never known. If there is absolutely no need which can be met to stop the pedo from wanting sex with a child other than him doing exactly that, how do YOU want to fulfill his need? 1 decade ago. When we talk about rights, for example, there is an implication that having a right gives us a claim on something, puts us in a position of being able to say, to someone, that we “deserve” to have what is our right. Although I don’t think in terms of what people deserve, and in that sense have experienced profound freedom, I don’t know even internally how to reframe that language into the language of needs, the dynamic inner and interdependent experience of living people.
Do you think it’s right for homosexual celebrities (particularly singers) to hide their sexuality? Maybe change our society to how it was in the past, that men are allowed to have sex with and even marry little children? Would a needs-based society find different paths from what we know? Chris Wallace sounds off after chaotic debate, Why 'DWTS' replaced Tom Bergeron and Erin Andrews, A major NFL COVID testing flaw has been exposed, Coronavirus detected in lake water, researchers find, Oscar nominee unmasks himself on 'Masked Singer', Wife's COVID death tips veteran from Trump to Biden, Newman: Trump is helping Biden appeal to moderates, Pro soccer team walks off after alleged anti-gay slur, Trumpworld 'worried' amid debate performance fallout, Chrissy Teigen shares tragic news she lost her baby, Chris Cuomo's interview with Ted Cruz gets heated. The direction of change is always the same for me: moving towards a needs-based approach to inner process, interpersonal relationships, organizational structures, and social institutions. This has been a liberating practice, in that I literally feel freer as a result, more aware of being an agent and owner of my life instead of driven by circumstances, obligations, and others’ expectations. Thanks for asking this question. It's offensive term? The other day my boyfriend told me that he dosnt deserve me.. Why did he say that?
By saying "I don't deserve you" he is saying "You could do so much better than me.
When I am speaking about my own perspective on things, I can generally find ways of articulating what is dear and precious to me, that which tends to be captured in words such as “rights” or “fairness,” and do it without using those words, only referring to what I know and have ownership of: my experience, my needs. I am super sensitive to the word equality.” Although for me equal chances are still a problematic notion, I appreciated hearing this perspective and it helped me understand better what is true for me. How Racism May Influence Judgments of Honesty. How many of us would be ready to part ways with the idea that someone who went to school for many years and now has a license to practice medicine means that they would now receive substantially more money than someone whose work is cleaning houses? Once again, I am coming back to the mutual relationship between words and thought. But at the end of the day, you would have needed more to keep your self worth intact and the narcissist would have needed to be treated level with others to heal him.
But here are more examples for you to think about: how the parents treat a child has great influence on their personality. If people get a villa for working at Mc Donald's, you should logically see the outcome. I am 45 years old and I watched people and tried to understand how they tick since I was a small child. Saying those words, to me, implies, in addition, some anxiety about having enough for the speaker’s needs, and a deep-seated fear of losing an incentive, a way to motivate people to work hard. I don’t appeal to any external authority, real or implicit, to define or evaluate things for me. And when dialogue fails, the language of needs more easily lends itself to continuing to see the humanity of the person or people whose actions we aim to change through struggle. Do Liberals and Conservatives Even Speak the Same Language?
But we talked enough, and then Neil, the lead singer, went, 'Oh, my god, you're not the "A. Willis" on all those Earth, Wind & Fire albums, are you?' Who gets to decide if it covers human needs to live in a villa with fancy clothes, food and a car, as a means of self expression and to give everyone a hopefully high level of self worth and who will finance that.
Sometimes, the only way a person will trust that they are understood is if I use the same frame they use, in this case “fairness.” I am almost invariably willing to do that in order to maintain connection, in order to offer care and understanding, sometimes just for the sake of communication. We can agree on that parents are not trained to raise children, and most of them do not have what it takes to raise a child perfectly, as in always do and say what the child needs to grow up perfectly healthy. I want to make concrete what my struggle actually is. The image exists on the web with various wordings. You have no idea. This is a way that you can connect with me and others who read this blog. This could be taken several different ways, depending on the guy. I enjoy that there is someone, of course a woman, who wants to give everyone what they need, have everyone's needs fulfilled with them having to do nothing for it, because it is their human right to have their needs fulfilled. Even the dear medical doctor did not study medicine just to help others, or do you ever see them treating anyone for free when they are absolutely poor. What, then, do I do with the notion of justice, the evocative appeal to human rights?
But reality tells a different story. The way I take it is this. Because I think I do!". Why do people take a compliment and put so much stress into it? What did I do to deserve this? People say this for a number of reasons and it means a number of different things. How Many Worldviews Are There? I just started painting,' and you know, 'What kind of music do you like?' In your fantasy world you have the ability to find the solution to the problem of people not being fair to each other, of people taking what they want while others are left with their needs unmet and then omg those who took what was not their right to take being possibly punished for it, because your female soul cannot handle having, lets face it, men who take what they want to be punished for it. It is a worldview rooted in separation, scarcity, and a deep mistrust of human nature. Now tell me, what do YOU think their needs are which have to be met to learn to not be a predator because it turns them on and makes them feel powerful? The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. Did you ever think anything through in all its consequences?
When someone says that anyone who doesn’t work hard doesn’t deserve to have financial support, I can relate to some needs I imagine the person speaking from. In the world of my dreams, we provide for everyone’s needs not because they deserve it, not because they have done something to earn it, or possess the resources to ensure that others will provide for them. I am not familiar enough with other cultures to make a statement, though I would be surprised if they don’t contain equivalent structures. The 2 Faces of Narcissism: Can You Recognize Them? And I didn't tell them what I had written. Because I think I do!" Your best response depends entirely on the context. It took me forever to drop my need to see people as good and understanding and saw them for what they really are. How do I remain true to my deepest visions without severing the ties of belonging to a community of humans for whom this frame of reference is familiar and powerful? If you want to be a thinker, you should think, and not post half-assed fantasies after having wasted so many times with sitting in universities which did not teach you to think logically. Transforming the Social Order Through Personal Practice? What did I do to deserve you? Is it justice or is it simply meeting needs? I just want to say how much love I feel when I read your articles. In conversation with those who don’t, people I run into in any kind of setting, I can only do what I used to do with other aspects of my inner consciousness training: I just watch, observe, learn, and do my best, moment by moment, to remain connected with myself and with others. Posted May 03, 2013 A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude. Pretty little utopia you have going there for yourself, but that is all it will ever be, the fantasy you are hiding behind so you dont have to face how humans really are.
More significantly, at least internally, I have a frame for how to understand what people mean when they speak of fairness or rights. Whoever would then deny us our rights can be prosecuted by law, morally shunned, or fought against, individually or collectively. Behind these examples is a deeper inquiry for me: since we are not equal, what would it mean to be treated equally? It has a meaning in the stories (which I will figure out for sure when I get my hands on those comic books). Does a dictator simply kill people because it is what he needs to feel good about himself... for sure! Even when we oppose people’s choices, even when we make it impossible for them to continue what they are doing through massive nonviolent resistance, we can, and have been known to, do so while seeing their humanity with love. You should spend your time with watching people with open eyes instead of hiding behind your pretty little perfect world you wish you could live in. This changes the nature of the struggle, the form of the fight. Still have questions? The single mother would need a lot of income she does not have to work for, but who cares. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
A loving relationship depends on communication. I don’t think that imaginary speaker is so far from where even many people committed to caring for all are. Just strait up ask him what the deal is, if it matters enough he'll want to work it out. You would happily give all you have and more to others in need, while the narcissist can only feel somewhat happy if they get more than others. This one is quite easy for me to translate. “Cast all your anxieties upon Him (Christ), for He cares about you ” (1Peter 5:7). For example, I have been almost entirely successful in eliminating the phrase “I have to” from my speech, replacing it, instead, with explicit clarity about what needs I am focusing on attempting to meet by choosing to do what I might otherwise tell myself I have to do.
Does Love Really Mean Never Having to Say You’re Sorry?